Simons Says

During a recent seminar the audience was asked to define what their beliefs are. To right them down to confirm them. Once on paper you're more likely to recall them and feel more committed to them. I thought what a great idea and at the same time what a difficult challenge.

At that moment it reminded me of a conversation I had with relatives during Thanksgiving. A well balanced conversation about value's and religion that was discussed with several people of varying belief systems. It was an excellent conversation.

The point that made the most sense to me was that you don't need to have religion to be respectful to one another. I've always thought this but just never heard it spoken. It doesn't have to be religion based or a system. That's it... Just respect other people's sex, sexuality, religion, politics, time, feelings and even interests... etc.

I thought it was profound and true and something that was worth remembering and using and writing down. I think it is really that simple for modern society.

I don't think I'm a spiritual person. I've never really gotten religion. It seems to create more conflict and dislike than peace. A division. We think knowing right from wrong is simple nature but it's not. It's taught and in those teachings is where the division starts. A universal religion of right from wrong couldn't work. Even though the premise seems perfect.

My beliefs are still working themselves out. But I know that a good start is being respectful of others. Which isn't a religion at all.... it's being a good person. It's sounds easy enough.

To go back to that Thanksgiving conversation for a moment. It dawned on me on why I was able to get something from this conversation I was apart of. The people who were involved in it listened to each other and took turns speaking. No one spoke over one another. No one argued with one another. We all heard each other and listened. My point of view was heard, and I listened to what other's brought to the table as well and took something from it.

I was apart of the conversation and I didn't need to talk over someone to be heard. Which is usually how social conversations have been going the last few years. I instantly remove myself from if I have to interrupt someone or talk over them. If I have to do that I doubt that they are interested in hearing another person speak. And I find if I participate that way I think it encourages that behavior and will ultimately alienate more people who might participate.

If it's a conversation of ideas and thoughts it should be that. I don't think using verbal force to get your point across is the proper art of conversation unless the situation requires aggression.

So is it really so easy to be respectful to others? I think what worked on Thanksgiving is that everyone had a chance to speak and listen. And there were some very strong personalities among the group. But all the participants contributed.

People say that they hate to hear their own voice. "God, do I really sound like that?" "I hate my voice!" If that's true why aren't people talking less and listening more?

Yesterday I played Simon Says at a work function. The facilitator was a Professional Simon. A simple kids game played by about 100 professional adults.

The 3 rules:

1. Don't talk.
2. Don't do anything unless Simon says you can.
3. Listen

This game showed us that listening isn't that easy.